Ask TLBS

TLBS (The Last Boy Scout), our semi-resident intellect is pondering the answers to the last set of questions submitted and we will post the answers as soon as they are available. TLBS' motto is.. there is no such thing as a stupid question.. there are just stupid people that ask questions. Got a question - just submit it to > asktlbs@poplarlounge.com.

1. Why is it every time I dial a wrong number someone is always home?
   
   tlbs > ok dummy, ever notice the line is never busy either
    
2. If a funeral procession is at night, do you drive with your lights off?
   
   tlbs > depends.. are you inside or outside of the box
    
3. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
   
   tlbs > not sure, ask edmo how the cops called it for him
    
4. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
    
5. If toast falls butter side down and cats land on their feet, what happens
   when u put a slice of bread ( butter side up ) on a cats back?
    
6. Does water float?
    
7. When a monkey farts, does it smell like bananas?
    
8. Do blind people have dreams? if they do, do they know what they are seeing?
    
9. If pants are called a "pair of pants", why aren't bras?
    
10. If quitters never win and winners never quit. what smart guy came up with the saying "Quit while you are ahead"?
     
11. What happens when you get scared half to death twice?
     
12. What color does a smurf turn when you choke it?
     
13. What is the speed of dark?
     
14. Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?