Our Privacy Policy

Should your wife call while you are here..

1. We don't know who you are unless she knows we know who you are..
   
2. We have not seen you unless she knows we have seen you..
   
3. You have just left unless she can hear you screaming you are not here..

Should you be stupid enough to answer the phone..

1. You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions..
   
2. Anything you do say may be used against you in divorce court..
   
3. You have the right to consult other bar members too drunk to know better before speaking to your wife..
   
4. If you cannot find one that can walk to the phone, one will be carried to the phone for you before any questioning..
   
5. If you decide to answer questions now without another drunk present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time should you suddenly begin speaking a foreign language..
   
6. Knowing and understanding your rights as we have explained them to you, are you willing to answer her questions - if so, we will transport you to 201 Poplar where your treatment will be considerably better than home.